I have three unrelated things to bring up as the back drop for this entry.
First, in math and other areas of study, it is common to examine "Game Theory". Game theory is fascinating. It deals with dominant strategies in competitive situations. People who understand and employ game theory can defeat opponents who cheat, even when the opponent knows what is coming. One part of game theory is what is called "tit-for-tat", as explained by David Krumholtz' character in the television show "Numb3rs" (Season 3, "The Art of Reckoning")
To describe this element he uses the analogy of two people in a race to climb a mountain. If your opponent uses aggression against you, you use aggression back. If your opponent attempts to cooperate with you, you do so in return. Eventually, your opponent will see that working with you is their best strategy as well, until the end when it really becomes the test of strength.
The second thing I would bring up is a phone call I received this past week from a friend. I had not spoken to this friend in two and a half years. Life had taken us our separate directions. In addition to life in general, we talked about our favorite sports teams. My friend is a die-hard BYU fan, and I am a bleed-red Utah fan. He mentioned to me that in the past, he had become so involved with BYU sports that it would throw him out of whack when they lost. He told me that he made a conscious decision to change and to take a step back. He was still die-hard, true-blue Cougar, but he balanced it with the more important things in life.
Finally, last year, a friend and I attended a Jazz game. The opponent was in control early in the game and a fan of the opponent was sitting near us. Rather than respectfully cheering for his team, he got up and rubbed it in the faces of everyone around him. Needless to say, when the Jazz took control of the game, those he had harassed earlier piled on him. His response was to turn bright red in anger and lash out with every swear word in the book. Here was a grown man who was brought almost to tears becuase he didn't have any respect. (I'm not saying the Jazz fans did either).
This brings me to my main point. As I listened to the TCU-Utah game, I became irritated. TCU so thorougly beat my Utes, and it bothered me. Even more so, as I watched it, I just knew that my facebook page would be inundated with BYU fans enjoying it and rubbing it in. I knew I would have to deal with ribbing at church and work.
I have to admit, I had had enough of hearing BYU fans say "3 of 4" or other trash talk through this last year. I am the kind of guy who posts obnoxious things on my own facebook page (silly statuses, songs and videos making fun of BYU, etc. etc.)
When I logged in to see the damages, I saw several of my friends had statuses that indicated that they were thoroughly enjoying this game, much more than I thought they would. As I read their statuses, I felt that irritation, and what was more, I knew that I had contributed to their joy in watching Utah fall flat on their face.
In a conversation, a friend told me "The loss yesterday was sweet because I feel sometimes the Ute fans get so cocky about how much better they are this year than BYU, they rub it in, it was nice to see them get humbled."
He went on to tell me that he has absolutely nothing against the players, or the Institution. In fact, he really likes Coach Whittingham and Shaky Smithson.
Even though I am a Ute fan, I have to agree with the general feelings of his comments. No one likes to lose. For sports fans, it's an awful feeling, especially when we invest so much in our teams. But his statement says a lot. He would probably have cheered for the Utes, if it hadn't been for Ute fans (like me) belittling his Cougars. I don't want to pile on Ute fans either. BYU fans can be just as bad in their obnoxious behavior.
When the game is played in November, it is unsure who will win. One thing that is sure is that some fans of the winning team will take the victory way too far and annoy the team who lost. It will build bitterness and anger and then when the winning team loses another game, the other fans will jump on them. In game theory, this is called a never ending downward spiral. Your opponent aggresses on you, you aggress back, and then he aggresses on you, and on and on. The only way to break this spiral is to employ whats called "tit-for-two tats"; you show cooperation no matter what your opponent does after a while. Eventually, your opponent will see that cooperating is the best strategy.
I am not saying that BYU and Utah fans need to hold hands and sing Kum-bay-yah in the mountains or something. This is a rivalry. But that doesn't mean that there has to be a lack of respect. Both sides can go a long way in improving in this area.
I had the chance to attend ESPN's College GameDay on Saturday morning. Among the crowd I saw were two people who stuck out to me. One was a Utah fan, who smuggled several bottles of some sort of liquor into the event. He consumed them rather quickly and soon became a nuisance to those of us around him, acting belligerently, swearing at people around him, saying whatever it was that came to his mind without thinking and he never shut up, and he was extremely offensive. This wasn't at a bar, this was in a public place. The second was a TCU fan who brought along his TCU flag to wave. This man was nice to everyone, even as he was harassed by the first bozo. In conversation with him, I learned that he was just like me. He was passionate about his team, and he was there to support them. The only difference was that he wore purple, and I wore red.
I am not trying to say that all Ute fans are jerks. 99% were there to cheer their beloved Utes on. My point is that there are a few bad apples in every barrell. Above all, we need to have more respect for those who don't see things the way we do. I learned a lot, and I intend to change the way I treat others and the way I support my team. I don't want my friends to hate my team because of my actions. Like my friend, I am taking a step back. The change will be the respect I have for everyone else.
So here is a list of things I learned through this:
1. Respect brings respect.
2. It's possible to enjoy success and not rub it in to those who aren't having it.
3. Doing the first two, in no way shape or form takes away from the enjoyment of sports.
And of course.......
4. I spend way too much time on facebook.............that also will change.
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